I miss you so much buddy. I'm so devestated that i'll have to live the rest of my life without you. I want to  hold you in my arms again and hear you say "i love you mommy" or "my mommy and my mommy only!" I wish i could have given you a better life than the one i did and i'll forever feel guilty that I didnt. Whenwe were inthe hospital those last few days i felt like you didnt want me to be around you, but now i look back and realize that you were only a child coping with the most severe pain a person, adult or child can go through.

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