Son-shine,

Well, today marks a year since you went to heaven. I don't think a "year" is an appropriate word to explain the timespan from then until now. I am sure it has aged me 10 years if it has even one day. We call this day of your death your "angelversary" but, it is also a birthday for all of us. On this day one year ago, we were reborn into a life of grief that few must live. Reborn to relive the time we had with you over and over again...because there are no new memories that we can create. Reborn but only able to share your life and your story, with all and whoever will listen.

I can't share the range of emotions that I experience every day. As sure breathing and the beating of my heart, I go through the full spectrum of feelings nearly every day. There are things that I see every day that break my heart. Toys that remind me of you, other children that are your age or the age you would be, your picture, when I see Isabella and think that she will never know you...Most of the time these things are like a Dagger through my heart.

All I think of is how long it will be until we are reunited and, "WHY" this had to happen to you and our family? I wish God would have called us home with you. It is not fair to be here without you. The only thing that gives me peace is to do things to raise awareness for childhood cancer and to tell your story. As for "WHY"? I am afraid I will go to the grave with that question still unanswered...but, I still ask every day.

Mommy and I have put a lot of thought into what to do for this day. A couple of parents with angels have suggested to honor and celebrate your life by doing something you would love to do. We have decided to go to Orlando and visit Sea World and probably the Magic Kingdom... but we’re not quite ready for Universal Studios -- yet. I think this is better than the alternative which would be staying in bed all day or moping around the house being depressed. We brought plenty of pictures of you to look at to see your sweet smile, and to see into your angel eyes when it gets tough for us.

I have been thinking for months about what to write on this day and, it really doesn't seem to be flowing as freely as it usually does. I want to leave you with a promise. Mommy, Daddy and Baby Bella miss you always and love you with all that is left of our hearts. You will never meet any other parents that are as relentless to the cause as we are. I vow to keep pushing and sharing your story until we make a difference in the world of pediatric cancer. And, we do this to honor you and most of all keep other children and families from having to suffer the way you did and the way we do.

Yuv u baby boy,

Daddy


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Daddy's Prayer

I ask you Lord to please give me and my family stregth for the day that lies ahead of us. I pray for good health for Isabella, Lord please don't let her get sick like Caleb did. I pray for all the families like us who have suffered such a devistating loss of a loved one. Please give them all the strength to forge ahead. I also pray for the children who are in the battle for their lives aginst their illnessess. Please give them and their family the strength that they need to overcome their disease. Please guide the doctors to make the right decisions for the treatment of these children to heal them and ultimately lead someone to find a cure for these diseases. Please, Lord let Caleb visit me in my dreams, I miss him so much. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

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Please if you can help us by donating money to www.calebscrusade.com for the childrens easter baskets, it would help bring a smile to a sick childs face for Easter.

We thank everyone for being there for us through this journey and please know we appreciate all the kind words, thoughts and prayers...they mean the world to us. God Bless you all.

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Comment by Lisa Molina on March 31, 2009 at 3:28pm
Rob - I know Caleb is smiling down on all of you and is so proud of how you continue to live each day as a testament to your love for him and all he means to you. My prayers are with you, your wife, and Bella - And thank you for your prayers for the rest of us too. Lisa Molina
Comment by AJs Dad on March 28, 2009 at 8:31am
Thinking of you all today.

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