On Oct. 15, 2011 I sat in my son Hospital room with him, it was 11:00pm. My son was having a not so good moment, in our good days, because of an infection. I watched him as he slept and thought about how I can have people hear what I say, when speaking of Childhood Cancer. After speaking with many people I have found that unless they feel what I am saying my words may soon be forgotten. So I thought, and figured I would just write what I have seen, and feel, with my son. I wrote this "letter" with the intent to invoke a feeling with whom ever had a chance to read it, so as Childhood Cancer could not be forgotten. I would like to share this "letter" with all of you, and ask that you invoke a feeling also. So our words of Childhood Cancer may not soon be forgotten.
I am a man and I cry,
I cry for many things.
I cry for my son, I cry because he is fighting Cancer, for not knowing what will happen, for giving him chemotherapy that I know will make him hurt, Because this will save his life.
I cry for my son, I cry when I see him sick, sick from chemotherapy, sick from infection, sick from being away from home, Because I cannot explain well enough.
I cry for my son, I cry when I see side effects from chemotherapy, when I see him in pain, when we give him medication for his side effects and his pain, Because he does not understand.
I cry for my son, I cry when he takes medication as a result of taking medication, when he does not want to take his medication, when I have to hold him while his medication is given, Because he takes his medication.
I cry for my son, I cry when I watch him go under anesthesia, when he needs a surgical procedure, when he needs tests and scans, while I wait, when he wakes up, Because he realizes what has happened.
I cry for my son, I cry when he cannot fight off infection, when we give him antibiotics, when we give him blood products, Because we will need to do it again.
I cry for my son, I cry when he wants me to put a band aid on a boo-boo I cannot see, when he cannot explain what hurts, when he wants me to kiss his boo-boo, Because I kiss his boo-boo.
I cry for my son, I cry when he wants to leave his hospital room, when he wants to go to the play room, when he wants to go outside, when he wants to play with other children, when he cannot, Because he is confused.
I cry for my son, I cry when my day is over, when I go to sleep, when I wake up, before my day begins, when I think of all this, when I am alone and not in front of my son, Because he does not know.
I cry for my son, I cry for my son is three years old and Because my son has Childhood Cancer
I cry because tomorrow and every day there after another father and mother will cry for their child fighting Cancer, and they will cry for all of this, and for the next child fighting Cancer, for his and her parents, and then they will cry also.
I am a Man and I Cry.
by; Dan Feltwell