You've heard the phrase. This is now your new normal. It's thrown around like rice at the end of a wedding. Please adjust and live your life as a New Normal. The New Normal. Yep, just move ahead with the New Normal. It always sounds like it's capitalized doesn't it? THE NEW NORMAL. Like its turning a page in a book and starting a new chapter, and you just keep on going. The stuff you've read already, well, I suppose in the New Normal, you're supposed to just take it in as part of the story. Like, yeah, that happened, but what happens next? The problem is, you just don't even give a damn anymore. At least its ****ing hard to. Things are totally upside down and inside out. Your brain and body just do not work the same. You see, the first part of the book just sucked at the end. The first chapters were good, great even at times. No huge, insurmountable problems surrounding our hero. And then, all of a sudden, a storm blew into town. A god damn F-5, Category 5, blinding snowfucking storm. And simply tore the place apart. and now....Nothing is where it should be. No one is the same. Its all covered up. And the hardest part is that you are not the same either. You're thinking different. You see things different. You feel different. You simply are different. And how do you tell that to someone. How can you make them understand that its you. I don't know if things used to be black and white and now its all gray; or if it was all gray and now its black and white. Somehow, it might be clearer. Sharper. But other times you are just enveloped by fog. Things are just changed. Nothing you wanted, of course.....just everything you've ever feared in your wildest scariest nightmares all rolled up into one and then topped off by even more nightmarish things you could never even imagine or knew existed....and it surrounds you.....and, there's no use in asking why, it just turned out that way.
You look at Old Normal (there must be an Old Normal right?). It's everywhere. Except it looks different. You see guys cutting the lawn and think, why? Mom's yelling at their kids or worried about something at a store. Why? Of course you know, or at least you have a vague memory. But still. Why. And you see kids. You shake your head. Not understanding. Honest...sometimes you are mad at them. Sounds horrible huh? Other times you might even crack a smile at how damn cute they are. You look at your stuff, the things around you, and think, so. You look at some things and say what am I gonna do with this? It was gonna be his.
So now you try to move forward. In your New Normal. Sometimes you are immobilized, or just do something dumb, it happens. And it's not good. At all. So you keep trying. Remembering to move forward. While never forgetting the past.